How to Create and Deliver a Best Man or Maid of Honour Speech That Truly Lands
Being asked to be the Best Man or Maid of Honour is an honour and a responsibility. They want you standing beside them on the most important day of their life, and they trust you to deliver one of the most anticipated moments of the entire celebration: the speech.
Guests expect humour, heart, memorable stories, something personal, and something memorable. While that can feel like a lot of pressure, it’s absolutely possible to write and deliver a speech you feel proud of without leaning on clichés or hackneyed jokes.
As a public speaking coach, I’ve helped many clients craft wedding speeches that feel both authentic and engaging. Below, I’ll walk you through how to create a meaningful Best Man or Maid of Honour speech and deliver it with confidence, presence, and genuine connection.
Start With Your Relationship, Not With Google
Before you start searching for jokes or templates (which often produce generic, forgettable speeches), pause and reflect on your relationship with the bride or groom.
Take five minutes and jot down:
How you met
What you admire about them
A moment that captures who they are
How you’ve seen their relationship grow
A memory that still makes you smile
These raw notes form the foundation of your speech. The strongest wedding speeches feel personal, not formulaic.
Choose One or Two Stories, Not Every Moment You’ve Ever Shared
One of the most common mistakes Best Men and Maids of Honour make is trying to include too many stories. The speech becomes meandering, overly long, and exhausting for guests.
Instead, pick one or two stories that reveal something meaningful about the bride or groom:
Their loyalty
Their compassion
Their sense of humour
Their resilience
Their idiosyncrasies, in a warm and affectionate way
Look for stories that reveal character rather than simply entertaining anecdotes. A funny memory can be great but only if it fits the tone. Avoid inside jokes (or use sparingly) and overly embarrassing stories for their own sake, or anything that would make the couple uncomfortable - a moment of embarrassment is best used when it ultimately provides an insight into a positive character quality.
Use a Simple, Reliable Structure
A great wedding speech has a natural flow, clarifying your structure will help with this.
Try this simple structure for starters:
1. Warm Opening
Thank guests, introduce yourself, and mention your relationship to the bride or groom. Keep this to 20–30 seconds.
2. A Story About Your Relationship
Share a meaningful story that reveals something about how you met, their personality, or your bond.
3. A Story About the Couple
How did they meet? What did you notice as they fell in love? What makes them such a good match?
4. Acknowledgement of the Partner
Offer a warm, sincere reflection on the partner. Mention a moment when they impressed you or made the bride/groom truly happy.
5. A Thoughtful Insight or Wish
This is the heart of many great speeches. A simple, grounded reflection about love, friendship, or partnership goes a long way.
6. The Toast
End clearly and confidently:
“Please join me in raising a glass to…”
This structure keeps you organised, helps signpost your audince, and ensures your speech feels polished.
Balancing Humour and Heart
Best Man and Maid of Honour speeches often lean heavily into humour, but humour is most effective when it’s balanced with sincerity.
Some tips for getting it right:
Use humour intentionally
Lead with something light, but avoid crude jokes, ex-partner jokes, or anything that implies the groom or bride is incompetent without their partner. These may get quick laughs but leave an uncomfortable impression.
Aim for “affectionately funny,” not “at their expense”
Good humour brings people closer. It shouldn’t create tension or embarrassment.
Follow a funny moment with a meaningful one
This creates emotional contrast, and contrast keeps people engaged.
Keep It Concise and Audience-Friendly
A great speech is usually between 4 and 6 minutes. Anything longer can feel self-indulgent or tiring for guests.
To keep your speech tight:
Cut filler sentences
Avoid long lists of people to thank
Don’t retell stories others will cover
Read it out loud and time it
Remember: short and strong always beats long and wandering.
Practise Out Loud (Multiple Times)
Reading silently doesn’t prepare your voice, your pacing, or your nerves. Practising out loud does.
As you practise, notice:
Where you rush
Where you run out of breath
Which sentences feel unnatural
Where emotion catches you
You can rewrite as needed.
If possible, practise at least once in front of someone you trust. They can tell you if you’re speaking too fast, mumbling, or missing opportunities to pause.
Managing Nerves on the Day
Even confident speakers feel nervous at weddings. It’s a big moment, and you care about getting it right.
Here are simple techniques that help:
Ground your breathing
Before you stand, inhale slowly for four seconds, exhale for six. This naturally calms your nervous system.
Pause before speaking
That first breath and moment of stillness sets the tone.
Speak slower than you think you need to
Nerves speed us up. Intentionally slowing down makes you feel and appear more confident.
Use your body wisely
Stand tall, keep both feet grounded, and avoid pacing or fidgeting.
Let Emotion Be Part of the Moment
It’s perfectly okay to feel emotional - this is a meaningful moment. If your voice shakes, pause. If you need a breath, take it. People understand, and often it makes your speech more powerful.
Avoid apologising for emotion. It’s a sign of love, not weakness.
End Clearly, Cleanly, and On a High Note
Your ending shouldn’t drift or ramble. Know exactly how you’ll finish:
A heartfelt wish
One sentence about what makes the couple special
A clear invitation to toast
Say your final line, pause, lift your glass, and let the room join you.
Want Support Crafting or Delivering Your Speech?
Wedding speeches can be deeply meaningful, but they can also feel overwhelming. If you’d like personalised guidance, I offer coaching to help you refine your message, build confidence, and deliver your speech with presence and ease.
You can explore support options at mindfulpresencecoaching.com, especially as wedding season approaches and demand increases. The right preparation can turn this moment from stressful to unforgettable.
A Best Man or Maid of Honour speech doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to feel true. With thoughtful preparation and a grounded presence, you can create a speech that stays with the couple, and the room, long after the last toast.